


"You'll Always Look Like An Angel to Me"

by Krissy_Kream



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Heart Aching Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-27
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 15:51:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/574980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krissy_Kream/pseuds/Krissy_Kream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis never thought he was good enough for his boyfriend but of course, he's wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"You'll Always Look Like An Angel to Me"

Harry played with his boyfriend’s hair absentmindedly as they watched a movie together. Moments like these made Harry think about the future and he wasn't the only one who thought about things like that.  
“Harry? Will you still love me, even when I’ m old and grey?” Louis asked him, staring at the television without really looking at it. Harry pressed his lips to the crown of Louis’ head.  
“You’ll always look like an angel to me”  
Those words warmed Louis’ heart and he sighed into Harry’s chest as the day drawled on.

***

“Harry Styles, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”  
“I sure do”  
“Mr Tomlinson, do you wish to love and cherish this man in front of you for the rest of your life?”  
“I absolutely do”  
“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you Mr Styles and Mr Styles. You may kiss your man”  
Harry smiled loving at Louis and lunged at him, bringing his mouth to his eagerly. Applause erupted around them and Louis felt like the luckiest man in the world. Pulling Louis even closer, Harry gently whispered in his ear. “This is the best day of my life. Everything is so perfect. I can’t believe you’re mine… You’ll always look like an angel to me”

***

“How can you love someone like me?! I’m old and hideous!” Louis cried out, pulling at his face. The first signs of crow’s feet were appearing beside his eyes and he had found a few grey hairs on his pillow. This was his worst nightmare; looking old while Harry still looked young and beautiful. Harry stood in front of his husband and tried to calm him down. “You don’t look old…”  
“Are you blind?! Oh wait, since I’m so old I’ll probably be blind soon…”  
Harry clasped his hands over his husband’s mouth to shut him up. “Lou…stop it. You’re having a mid-life crisis…I think. It might be that or a child’s tantrum. Anyway, I won’t lie to you; age is catching up with you. But not rapidly, it’s barely noticeable honey. Please…believe in my love for you; it’s stronger and brighter than the sun. I can never stop loving you,” Harry’s breath hitched, “Just remember, you’ll always look like an angel to me”  
Louis felt tears spring to his eyes as he clutched at his husband tightly, never wanting to let go.

***  
Months later the test results came back.  
“I’m so sorry Lou, I’m so sorry” Harry wept, sobbing into his husband’s shoulder. Louis could only sit there and comfort the love of his life as the tears ran streams down his face. The one thing that could crush everything, leave everything unfinished. Cancer.

 

***

The first week was the most tolerable in Louis’ opinion. You could barely tell Harry was sick, let alone dying. He had a whooping cough for a while with unpredictable fevers and chills but that was pretty much it. He always had a grin on his face and would do anything to let everyone know he was okay. Even though he knew it clearly wasn't.

About 2 weeks after the diagnosis, Harry woke up with mounds of hair on his pillow. Screaming in horror and sorrow, he started crying as he realized the seriousness of his fate. Louis was startled awake by his husband who was weeping hysterically and after some persuasion; he made Harry leave the room with a beanie on as he cleaned up the mess on his pillow. Louis couldn't contain his tears then.

The chemo started shortly after. Louis didn't like to remember the things that happened during that time; Harry screaming in absolute pain, Louis could hear it from the waiting room. The after effects of the therapy; all his hair gone, the pale tone to his once shining skin and how…hollow he looked. Sometimes Harry couldn't even bring himself to look at his loving husband, only talking to him as the silent tears ran down his cheeks through the closed lids of his eyes. Even the green sparkle had faded from them…maybe because he knew his fate was sealed and he would never see Louis ever again. Or maybe because of the pain…it was more likely the first option.

Louis was the only one who could see Harry’s real emotions through the entire experience. Whenever the other guys came around to visit, he always had a cheery face on which still looked pretty fake. But his friends didn't want to hurt their companion any more than he was suffering from already. So they played along with it…until they left the room. They always confronted Louis about the condition of his husband the moment they were out of Harry’s range of hearing. Every time it made Louis nauseous because it was like counting down a clock.  
“4 more months…”  
“At this rate, 2 and half according to the doctors”  
“Barely a month…I don’t know what to do”

***  
Louis couldn't prepare for what happened next. He knew it was inevitable but the fact still hurt him.  
“Mr Styles, may I have a word?” The doctor stopped him before Louis could enter the room for his daily visit. He paused and nodded as he followed the doctor into a separate room, an office. A familiar man stood there in a suit. The funeral director.  
“I’m sorry to say sir; your husband won’t survive the night. We give him a few hours at best. You've already sorted out the funeral arrangements, we know this. We just needed to tell you the news before you saw him. Try not to stress him out too much; he may not know his…departure is coming soon. You may go now. Just push the button near his head…”  
“…and the nurse will come in. I know…thank you” Louis nodded his head in thanks as he left the room. He had mere hours left with the man of his life…what could he do beside be with him until the time came?

***

“I know I’m dying Lou…just say something” Harry spoke up, his voice raspy. Louis had taken his regular seat directly next to Harry’s head after his talk with the doctor. He could only sit there and weep quietly as he studied the contours shaping his husband’s face and how…how could fate be so cruel? With his eyes closed, Louis had assumed Harry was asleep, until he suddenly talked.  
“How do you know…?”  
“It’s my body…I can feel everything that happens to it. And I know I don’t have much time left” he coughed weakly, his eyes fluttering open. They remained open as he turned his head to stare at Louis. “Oh Lou…”  
“You can’t leave me Harry. You’re my…my everything!” Louis cried out, clutching at Harry’s hand and rubbing his cheek against the palm of it. Harry sighed as he laid his other hand on Louis’ head, stroking his soft locks gently.  
“Please…just live on, for me? Is that so hard?”   
Louis glared up at his husband. “I don’t want to live in a world without you…and why are you so calm about this? It’s…unnatural”  
Harry barked out a laugh or what seemed like a laugh. “ I've accepted the fact I’m dying Boo. I sure as hell don’t want to leave you of course, but I’ve realized there’s no point of running away from this. I have to stand up and face the fact…I have cancer and a few hours to live. I’m just happy that I get to spend my last hours on Earth with you”  
Louis sniffled, his tears receding for now. “So…what do you want to do?”  
Harry smiled weakly and yet, Louis still felt the butterflies. “Let’s just reminisce all our happy moments…I want to relive them all”

***

After what seemed like minutes but was really hours, Louis and Harry stopped to have a proper breath of air. Their conversation had gone everywhere; Louis talked about their boyfriend moments while Harry talked about their marriage years. Louis had held Harry’s hand the whole time, toying with his wedding ring. It had their initials engraved into the band and Louis’ thumb kept brushing over Harry’s initials without him really realizing it.  
“Louis…” Harry said suddenly, his voice slightly strangled. Louis sat up suddenly and gripped Harry tighter. It was time.  
“What is it honey? Tell me…” Louis said frantically.  
“I-I can see heaven…it’s so…white but I-I can’t…” Harry stuttered, his eyes going out of focus.  
“Stay with me babe, what can’t you do?” Louis said, removing his hands so he can grasp the sides of Harry’s face so his eyes could focus on Louis’.  
“I can’t see it as heaven…because you’re not there Lou…” Harry broke off with a broken gasp as he held in his cry of pain.  
“Oh Haz…” Louis whispered, tears dripping out of the corners of his eyes.  
“Just remember Boobear…I love you so much, it’s…it’s indescribable…and-and…”  
“You can say it…come on…” Louis pushed with a crushing grip on Harry’s hand.  
“You’ll always look like an angel to me…even as death comes to take me away”  
Louis shook his head with broken sobs raking his throat. “N-no Haz…now you’re my angel, my guardian angel”  
Harry could only smile as he felt the cold brush of death sweep through his body.

**********************************************************************************  
Louis stood in front of the gravestone with his first genuine smile in weeks. When it came time to get Harry’s gravestone engraved, the once curly-haired boy insisted that he chose what he wanted, as one of his final wishes. Louis couldn’t help but agree with him at the time. Now he could see why Harry wanted to do it…and make it a surprise.

Here lies Harry Edward Styles  
Died from Prostate Cancer  
Loving husband, brother, friend  
“You’ll always look like an angel to me”  
Official Guardian Angel to his husband Louis William Styles  
R.I.P


End file.
